Ashes joy turns to dust as England lose third one-dayer to Australia

The Hill has long gone and the legendary shout of “Ave a go ya mug” was not heard at the still beguiling Sydney Cricket Ground today. But there was still an uncomfortably retro feeling to proceedings as hits by Abba, Neil Diamond, T. Rex and many more were blasted out and England were once again playing like duffers and being roundly thrashed by Australia.

The Ashes victory does not feel like an aberration just yet. In fact, that magnificent achievement may largely explain why the players now seem mentally tired and increasingly prone to injury. The England tour of Australia still has two weeks to run and if someone stepped in and put it out of its misery there would be widespread expressions of relief.

Seven one-day internationals always looked too many after such a draining Test series. Perhaps these should have been played before the Ashes. Perhaps there should have been three Twenty20 matches, instead of two, and three ODIs. There is some jaded-looking cricket taking place but Australia, after being outplayed in the Test series, look less jaded than England.

Tim Bresnan and Kevin Pietersen missed this match, with calf and groin injuries respectively, and England’s three best bowlers, Jimmy Anderson, Stuart Broad and Graeme Swann, were also out. But this can hardly be offered up as an excuse, for Australia were missing their best two batsmen, Ricky Ponting and Michael Hussey, and Nathan Hauritz and Shaun Tait missed this game after being injured in the last, in Tasmania.

If England thought, ruefully, that they could have won the first two matches, no such thoughts entered their cluttered heads today after they scored an insufficient 214 and were again bowled out inside their allocation of overs.

The message afterwards was very much “Don’t panic, Captain Mainwaring”, but a little bit of panic might not be inappropriate just now, for yet again it was the batsmen who failed to operate as a unit, well though Brett Lee bowled.

Even if Matt Prior scores runs in Adelaide on Wednesday, it will not disprove the fact that opening the batting is not the best place for this talented and wholehearted cricketer. Prior’s ordinary record is even more modest when he goes in first and it is surely time to have a look at Ian Bell in that position and put Prior down the order, where he plays in the Test side and where he has done his best work in the shorter game. But he will be given another opening chance.

It felt almost symbolic of the current malaise that run-outs should feature at the top and bottom of the innings. After Andrew Strauss had won the toss for the third time in as many matches Prior, who had made a duck on his return to the side on Friday, made another. Well beaten by Lee’s first ball, an away swinger, he was plumb lbw to his third, which came in.

Strauss looked in good form but he was run out by Jonathan Trott. Bell failed yet again, chipping a gentle return catch to Shane Watson as he tried to work one across the line. And so it continued. Eoin Morgan was just starting to get on top at the halfway point of the innings when he smashed a long-hop to midwicket. He has now scored 59 in three knocks. Paul Collingwood almost played on to his first ball and was badly bowled by his second, when he failed to get forward to Xavier Doherty. Michael Yardy, again looking too high at No7, gave a soft return catch to Doherty for only seven.

England’s effort was summed up by last man Chris Tremlett. The last man was run out on the last ball of the 48th over, forgetting to run in his bat. Why he was going for a single to deny Trott the strike for the 49th over was another mystery. Trott finished unbeaten on 84, though as the wickets clattered he was reduced to scoring no more than a run an over for much of his innings.

“They missed KP today,” someone said, with wise-sounding finality. But since Pietersen averaged well under 20 in one-dayers in both 2009 and 2010, it was not necessarily true.

Australia, led first by Brad Haddin and then David Hussey, eased home with four overs to spare, although England missed another trick when they had them at 100 for five and didn’t bring Tremlett back for another burst. Instead, T. Rex’s Telegram Sam was given another blast.